Live your potential

Disabled rights and wrongs

I was complaining to a friend the other day about women using accessible toilets when there were queues for the ladies. "Why shouldn't they use them?" she asked. "Why shouldn't you have to queue?"

Hmmm. Interesting question. It got me thinking about the assumptions I make about my rights. What's reasonable to expect? What's fair?

Is it right that I get a subsidised car? Yes, because without it I wouldn't be able to get around in the country, where few buses are accessible. But what about those people who can't afford a car and are equally stranded by an unreliable transport network? Am I more deserving than them?

What about free seats for a carer at the theatre. The Tobacco Factory in Bristol doesn't offer them. Their response when I queried their approach:

"To Mr Farrow,

 I was passed on your details from a colleague concerning the issues you had raised in terms of Carer tickets for productions that we hold here at the Tobacco Factory.

 I completely understand your frustrations at this current policy, however due to financial constraints we are unable to offer a free ticket to carer’s at this point. We do in all cases of a concession price being available, offer this for a carer, however unfortunately this is not an option for La Traviata as it is a set price.

We would however like to assure you that this is something we are constantly reviewing. Before the release of our current brochure we related with other theatre organizations in Bristol and how maybe as a collective group could offer a set concessions structure, including carer tickets, in the future, and this was received with positive feedback, although not something we could put in place by the time our current season went on sale.

 We will again be looking at this for the next season and will definitely be taking into consideration the feedback that you have raised.

Should I get privileges or advantages just because I'm in a wheelchair? Who decides what's right?

 

Disability and disadvantage

I've been invited to a series of RADAR Leadership days. The first took place last Tuesday. Whilst I consider myself a leader already, I thought it would be a good chance to network and make new contacts. It was.

It's the first "disabled" event I've gone to. I'm still struggling with the idea that I'm disabled. Yes, it's part of my make-up but it's not the foundation, more like eye-liner /guyliner. So it was strange to be at an event where that was indeed our foundation: the one thing that we had in common was that we were all disabled.

And what a range of disabilities. It made me appreciate the advantage of being in a wheelchair: people with invisible disabilities, particularly those with mental health issues, often seem to have a far harder time. I don't need to explain why I'm entitled to use an accessible toilet: people can see. I suppose I encounter a purient curiosity ("how come you're in a wheelchair?") but I don't need to justify certain privileges I might receive.

I got what I wanted from the day: contacts and the possibility of coaching work. I'm keen to work with people who are facing sudden change through serious illness or injury: I've been there, and believe coaching is a useful tool to get people thinking about their futures. But reaching said individuals is hard. Being at the Leadership day made me see an alternative. As part of the Leadership programme, each participant gets to work with a coach over the length of the course. It's my first experience of a disability organisation working with coaches and I reckon it's the way forward. I've asked to join RADAR's books. Now I've got to research who else works in the field...

Speaking up about disability

Just back from my first talk for Inspirational Speakers for Schools to a group of sixth formers down in Poole. The title was "A disability awareness workshop" but with two hours to fill (and after discussions with the head of sixth form), I decided to mix things up.

So we looked at perceptions of and attitudes to disability and had a fascinating debate about what being disabled actually meant. We came to the conclusion that there was no such thing as normal; that in a way, everyone was disabled - everyone had something that they couldn't do very well. I was impressed by the willingness to consider and discuss the issues. I learnt a lot myself.

Then we looked at coping with change, using my own story as simply an extreme example, the impact it's had on me and how I've learnt to cope (or not). Very forthright, direct, refreshing questions...

Oh, it was fabulous to be speaking in front of a group again. It's been too long. Great to challenge and provoke at the same time as be challenged and provoked. More please, especially when I get feedback like this:

"I enjoyed the whole thing as it made me realise that my life could change at any moment and that I just have to adapt to it".

And if you want to get a flavour of what I was talking about, there are some excerpts here on youtube...

Pain and its purpose

I hate pain. I hate the way my back feels as if it's being roasted by a fire. I hate the way pain saps my energy and focus.

It's not as if it's telling me anything useful. That I'm tired? That I should go to bed? That I should stand? If there was some meaning or information in the pain, I think I could accept it more.

And yet the pain in my arm does have meaning, and it frightens me. It makes it harder to push. Should I ignore it and just keep moving? Or should I push less and drive more? Will it get worse as I get older? Where's the manual that tells me what to do?