I've been thinking more about living with dignity. I think dignity is partly about appearances. I struggle to put on a double duvet cover. I could just as easily leave it uncovered and wash the whole duvet every now and then. But apart from cleanliness, it's also about wanting to have my bed look like a bed. For the same reason, I put a sheet down, although I could just as easily sleep on the mattress cover. And I do this for myself: I feel better about myself and my life when I have a tidy, "normal" bed.
The same applies to clothes. Yes, I hang about at home in sweatshirt and tracksuit bottoms but I'd rather smarten up when I go out. I've got the added (self-imposed) pressure of not wanting to look disabled, whatever disabled looks like. In my head, disabled dress is scruffy, dirty, falling to pieces clothes. Not sure where I've got these attitudes from, but I feel I have enough assumptions to cope with without adding my appearance to the list.
There's a difference between private and public dignity I realise. Few people see my duvet cover but it matters to me. More people will see my bottom hanging out of my trousers and that also matters to me, even if I won't see them again. In a strange way, I suppose I'm an ambassador for disabled people, as is anyone who's disabled: challenge assumptions, live out your life with pride. Get people thinking.
At the same time, private dignity is perhaps less important. I've been wondering about this following a meeting with a design student who came across my blog. He wants to design a product that increases the dignity of people with spinal cord injury. I suggested something for bladders, a subtle "inco pad" (aka nappy) that uses modern, more figure-hugging materials than the standard products on the market. These are, indeed, a big nappy. He was more interested in creating a product to do with sex. Personally, dignity in sex isn't such an issue. I'd hope that once I got that intimate with someone, I'd have broached all the undignified things that might happen. Whereas with leaking in public, well, that's just plain horrible. I don't think I convinced him.
