I'm still mulling on this idea of dependence. I was on a three day course at the weekend. I was cherished. And I realised that I enjoyed being looked after. Yes, I could have got my own coffees but I've not yet mastered the wheeling safely with hot drinks technique. I could have pushed myself up the steep hill but I was shattered from early rises.
My feelings about asking for or being offered help change. I suppose all I need to do is be aware of how I'm feeling at the time. Sometimes I do want help. Sometimes I don't. Sometimes I want to be independent and do everything for myself. Sometimes I don't. There's no right or wrong way of behaving: I just need to do what's right for me.
And I need to be aware of the impact of my choices. By not getting my chair out of the car, my damaged shoulder stays pain free. Yet now that I do get my chair in and out, the increased pain is balanced by the increased freedom. I no longer need to wait for help: I just hop out the car when I arrive at my destination. This liberation makes me question choices that have been coloured by the perspectives of healthcare professionals: my occupational therapist emphasises the need to reduce exercise in order to lessen exhaustion. This reminds me to ensure I balance such perspectives with those of others, especialy wheelchair users. There are many viewpoints out there and this is still a very new world for me. I've got a lot to learn.
