It seems appropriate for my 200th post to be talking about words and their impact. I'm not talking about being "disabled", a term I hate and rarely use for myself. No, it's "wheelchair user" versus "paralysed".
I try to conserve my energy as much as I can. Thus, rather than get my wheelchair in and out of the car by myself (which I can do, albeit slowly and with some effort), I ask strangers to do it for me. I've changed the way I ask and the change has had surprising results. Previously, I was almost aggressively direct "I'm a wheelchair user. Please could you get my chair out of the car?" I used to have a misplaced sense of entitlement: because I was a wheelchair user, people should help me.
That sense of entitlement has reduced, though I still need to work on my attitude. Now I say, "Please could you give me a hand?"...pause for answer..."I'm paralysed. Could you get my chair out of the car?" The pause creates space for people to walk away (it sometimes happens, usually when I ask women). And the word "paralysed" seems to make a far greater impression. People often start off suspicious, anxious. But as soon as I say I'm paralysed, their faces ease, their apprehensive goes - far more so than when I say I'm a wheelchair user. Perhaps it's because the word is so specific - and so easy to imagine - whereas I could be an ambulant wheelchair user (I've seen several people get out of their cars, walk to the boot, grab a wheelchair and sit down in it). It certainly makes my life easier.
